As a public service and in the spirit of the Grice United Fund, I offer the ultimate apology, which I encourage people to link, copy, or adapt when their internet debates become overly heated:
You were correct about every point you addressed, and you stated your views in the most comprehensible, cogent, and compelling possible way.
My belief that I disagreed with you stemmed from a misreading that can only be described as willful and arbitrary. Any misunderstanding I displayed stems solely and exclusively from a combination of my own personal prejudices, psychological hang-ups, inadequate upbringing, and sheer unmotivated malice.
I hereby renounce all my opinions and views and subscribe, without condition or reservation, to your opinions and views, both in the matter we were discussing and on all other possible topics.