A proposal to reform the American two-party system

My proposal to reform America’s political parties is simple: both parties should abolish open primaries for all offices. The candidates for every office should be determined by the party leadership (at the appropriate level), preferably in smoke-filled back rooms.

This reform would be beneficial in different ways for each party. On the Republican side, there would no longer be the specter of an ultra-right-wing “primary challenger” haunting everyone — so that the Republicans could start showing the same open contempt for their supporters that the Democrats do, leading to more of the precious bipartisan compromise that our Founders so ridiculously baked into the formula.

On the Democratic side, the benefits would be even better. Cut off from the hope of electing a magical “progressive” office-holder (which would presumably fix everything), they would be in a better position to focus on the kind of extra-party, extra-electoral organization necessary to pressure our craven and servile politicians into implementing the kinds of policies we want.